There's been some internet drama, and people have rushed in to arbitrate and so that job's done and we can all settle back down and think about what has just happened.
Here are the facts. A well-known feminist and occasional troll makes, let's face it, a bit of a dick comment.
A well-known troll and probable sexist calls her out on the exercise, citing it as an example of sexism and (apparently worse) double standards.
There are two things I want to pick up on here. The first is the issue around said double standards, and how they might not be as bad as we think. The second has to do with this particular type of nonsense males have to put up with, how it's not cool but why that means they should definitely, definitely be feminists.
Let's give our male argumenteer, let's call him Person D, the benefit of the doubt. Let's imagine, for a second, that his objection is totally right and there totally was some sexism going on. Firstly, as has rightly been pointed out, we live in a world with unequal power relations between the sexes and so all sexisms are not equal. For similar reasons if a black person tells a white person, neither of whom know each other that well, "you're acting so white right now" we can think that's not entirely cool while knowing that it would be enirely different and worse if it had been the other way around. This is because our actions take place in a political and historical context. So, although Person A, the well-known feminist in our example, has done something double-strandardy that doesn't mean it is necessarily bad, or even necessarily inconsistent with her own beliefs. Maybe she, like most people most of the time, thinks that morality has a diverse landscape in which a certain action does not have to be always right or always wrong.
But here's the kicker. Even if there is something wrong with the double-standard, maybe it offends the post-modern cult of apparent authenticity or whatever, something worse has been done, which is the ridiculous standard to which this feminist, and indeed all feminists are being held to. This is not the first example of women (and, lets be honest, women feminists do get a lot more of this crap) being held to ridiculous standards. Women are subjected to completely unreasonable scrutiny by people trying to catch them slipping up, so they can be denounced as physically unattractive or sexually immoral or intellectually lacking. Whole print media empires have been built on this principle. This cultural artefact informs the majority of click-baiting links that try to grab my attention when I am doing totally legitimate research about a TV show or some crap. Well, Person D can stop looking for a perfect feminist unicorn: there is none. It's not just that not everyone in the club is right all the time: as with all clubs, everyone in the club is wrong some of the time. Stop making a big deal out it. It's just blaming people for being people, and it's nonsense.
I return, as I knew I must, to my second point. We do have to stop talking about dicks the way we do. It's not just that people should stop using the suggestion that somebody has a small penis to make fun of them, we need to entirely remove the value judgement from the equation. It's a horrible kind of bullying: it's ability to hurt depends on the presence of powerful underlying insecurities and self doubt. If those vulnerabilities are not there the "joke" is pointless. If they are it is a seriously shitty way to treat someone (even, as far as you're concerned, a bad person). I don't care whether you're a feminist or not, male or female. Don't do it. If you do I'll, well I'll jolly well try to persuade you not to, that's what I'll do.
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